Changing My Mind

March in Minnesota is a rollercoaster of weather.

Spring-like days followed by snow, then more warmth, a sudden cold snap, and another sunny, balmy stretch. It’s difficult to keep up. (And discouraging to see those low temps in the weather forecast.)

Right now, we have a week of warmer days ahead. A taste of spring. With wintery days following.

My soul seems to be in a March sort of mode right now.

I have days of hope and optimism followed by sudden bursts of overwhelm and uncertainty. Feeling on top of my life one day and underneath it all the next. Internally, I’m trying to figure out so much, and externally, I’m working through a long list of tasks. I don’t always know where to put my focus and energy.

A big adjustment I’m noticing now is the need to shift my mode of thinking. I am so used to factoring in someone else in every area of life. Drew and I were married for almost 34 years.

All my choices were filtered through that lens for so long and it takes effort to set it aside.

In some respects, it makes life easier.

Meals, for instance, are simpler.

I only have one set of tastes and preferences to consider. I can eat what I want and when I want.

Still, it is a shift in lots of little, ordinary decisions and actions. I run into it over and over.

Vehicles, though, are on the other end of the spectrum. Division of labor is a wonderful thing. I have no interest in the mechanics of cars, how the engine works or what it needs. Yet now it’s my job to track mileage for oil changes, to buy new tires, and pay attention to regular maintenance. I’ve got a learning curve and an increase in my mental load in this area.

In-between there are all the other aspects of normal, daily life, none of which look the same to me. All of which require deliberate mental effort on my part where I once glided along on automatic pilot.

Many people I know are in a new season of life. Grieving a loss. Becoming parents. Adjusting to retirement. Starting a degree program.

Losses and gains.

Ends and beginnings.

Life brings us all sorts of changes.

As our seasons shift, there is the possibility, and sometimes necessity, of altering the way we think. Thankfully, creating new neural networks in our brains is very possible and doable. Possible. Doable. But not easy or quick.

Whether we are learning something new or using different criteria for decisions, mental change takes work. We must exert repeated and sustained effort to get to a new place. Over time new physical pathways are laid down in the brain as our hearts and minds adapt to our new reality, eventually leading to new actions—the visible result of the hidden work we’ve done.

For me right now, it feels a bit like I’m reinventing myself or rediscovering myself.

In a way, this is the very process of working out our salvation, the process of sanctification, the process of being conformed into the image of Jesus.

Scripture told us about transformation and neuroplasticity long before science understood it. In Romans, Paul wrote:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:2 NIV

Paul continues the chapter by telling us what to consider, how to evaluate ourselves and others, which thoughts to give space to in our heads and which to reject. A framework for believing and acting in faith.

Yes, following Jesus is about thinking like Him and acting like Him. At an even more foundational level, however, it is about doing life with Jesus, so that our every choice and decision is filtered through the lens of our relationship with Him.

Who am I?

How do I want to live?

These are the underlying questions I really need to answer.

If my central relationship in this life is with Jesus, then I want to live in a way that cultivates and cherishes that relationship above everything else, and it should show up in my everyday, ordinary decisions and actions as much as in the big, consequential ones.

In this season of so many changes, my life with Jesus still remains.

The weather in March is chaotic and unstable, but the truth is spring is on the way. Regardless of today’s temperatures, warmer weather is ahead and certain.

My emotions and the timing of my next steps are unclear and shifting right now. But the truth is, I have a firm foundation in Jesus. Regardless of any overwhelm I feel in a given moment, I am rooted in God’s love and my future is sure.

So I’m choosing to believe the Lord still has goodness for me in the land of the living, to look for and participate in the good works He has prepared for me to do, knowing the Spirit is at work, the Kingdom is growing all around the world, and all these big and small efforts I make, every tiny choice for life and truth and trust in the Lord makes a difference and contributes to my mind’s renewal. And the God of endurance will strengthen me with His might and His joy.

Psalm 27:13-14; Ephesians 2:10: Colossians 1:6;

Romans 15:5 & 13; Nehemiah 8:10

How about you?

Are you making changes in how you think?

What might God have for you in this season, and beyond, if you allow Him to direct your thoughts and renew your mind?

What transformation of your heart and life might be possible?